


I Wasn't Ready

by totallyrhettro



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Childhood Memories, Declarations Of Love, Feels, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Happy endings guaranteed, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, POV First Person, Self-Reflection, True Love, inner thoughts, rhink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 19:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallyrhettro/pseuds/totallyrhettro
Summary: Link mulls over events of the past.Takes places in present day; just some fluffy fluff.





	I Wasn't Ready

I met you in first grade. I saw you in the desk next to mine, carving a bad word into the cheap wood. It made me laugh. I carved my own word; I didn’t know many and I’m pretty sure I spelled it wrong, but it made you smile. Even as a young boy you had a great smile. Then Miss Locklear caught us. We were both held in for recess and I was pretty sure it was your fault, but I wasn’t mad. You talked to me while we colored and didn’t critique how I stayed in the lines. I didn’t say anything about how you continued to color outside of the lines. You asked me if you could stay over. No one had asked me that before. Sure, you had asked people before but you were my first ‘stay-over buddy’. I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I asked if you wanted to be best friends that very night, as you lay in your sleeping bag on the floor beside my bed. You said yes. I was over the moon with happiness but I definitely wasn’t ready to tell you then.

We were inseparable in grade school, going on countless adventures into the wilds of North Carolina and exploring the backwoods behind our houses. I had other friends, sure, but none like you. You had other friends too, but I knew I was your best friend. We would spend hours talking about everything and nothing, many of them on those two rocks overlooking Buies Creek by the golf course. It was there we sealed our friendship, our bond that seemed greater than even we could understand. We made an oath, promising to be best friends forever, to achieve great things together, and to never grow apart. With glass we cut ourselves and signed the document in blood, forever becoming blood brothers. I had been so scared. Scared of cutting myself, of going through with any of it, but you told me this made us closer than friends. That this made us closer than family. I knew in that moment that I would follow you anywhere, you needed only to ask, but I wasn’t ready to tell you then.

High school was crazy. Learning to drive, getting our first cars, you wrecking yours. Not that I was any better. We were both reckless to an extreme in those days, throwing rocks at cars, sneaking into that barn and breaking all that glass, egging houses and wrecking yet another car. I was driving that time though. I was so high on the rush of what we had done, what we appeared to be getting away with. I didn’t even think about the half dozen or so people in the back, or even about who was wearing a seat belt. I saw the look in your eyes that you were just as excited, just as wired as I was that night. You had this wild grin plastered on your face as I sped down the road, and I wanted this night to last forever. Then I ran the stop sign and crashed right smack into a ditch. I was fine, for the most part, but when I turned to see if you were okay I saw blood on your forehead. You had hit it on the windshield which had cracked on impact. I was scared, at first, but then you started laughing. A crazy, ‘holy crap, I’m alive’ kind of laugh. I never told you how relieved I was to know that you were going to be okay. I should have told you then. I should have told you lots of things, but I just wasn’t ready.

College was hectic. You were my roommate for all four years, some of them in the same room. I had the bottom bunk while you had the top. It was our first time living together, but not the first time sharing a room. It reminded me of our younger days, of sleepovers and lock-ins. I spent most of my freshman year with my nose in one book or another, trying to get the best grade possible. You weren’t as studious, but you worked hard as well so we didn’t really have a lot of time for messing about or talking about anything other than school. Later years we loosened up, hung out with other friends and made the best of our college days. We went skiing a lot, sometimes just us and sometimes with others. That time I broke my pelvic bone and got a concussion wasn't exactly the highlight of my college or skiing career, and still to this day I don’t remember anything after taking that crazy high jump. You’ve told me the story a few times and that always makes me laugh. I wish I could remember it though. I wish I knew what random stuff I had said, if I said anything embarrassing, anything important. After my brain started working again, and I could form new memories, you were there. You looked at me with such thoughtful eyes, like there was something on your mind but you just couldn’t say it. I didn’t press you. There were things I wanted to say but couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. Not yet.

After college we had jobs and they kept us pretty busy. They also kept us apart and that was so hard. I mean we talked almost every day but it was almost always over the phone and that wasn’t the same. I was so glad when we started doing that weekly Ustream thing. We got to hang out more often. I got to sit behind a small card table with you. Being that close was wonderful, and doing what we loved was almost as good. It was our creative outlet, our little place to make a name for ourselves and do what we wanted. True it wasn’t done with much of a budget and in the beginning we were lucky to get even a hundred people to watch, but I was happy. I know you were, too. I could see it on your face every time we started a new broadcast. Every time we finished one. There were nights when we worked way too late on side projects that we weren’t thrilled about but they paid the bills. Even the unbearable nights were made bearable with you by my side. So many times I would just sit and watch you working on something, fiddling with new settings on your computer or strumming a new melody on your guitar. I could feel something growing in my heart that I knew might burst out of my chest someday but no matter how many times I tried to tell you I would falter. I would stumble. Time and time again I would build up the courage only to have it fade when I opened my mouth. I felt like I should have been ready, but I wasn’t.

Years went by and our small, two-man broadcast slowly became bigger, gradually flourishing into a company that you and I both owned and ran. We hired one employee, than two, then a dozen more. We made a television series, we made commercials. Our ‘real’ jobs were long gone and eventually we fell into a routine of making an internet show called Good Mythical Morning. Our lives were changing so fast in such a short time I could hardly believe it. We were finally making something for ourselves that we could also live off of. It wasn’t just a hobby, some silly experiment, this was our business. We were internet comedians, internetainers, and we made funny and entertaining videos for millions of people. It wasn’t exactly what we had pictured so long ago when we had talked about our future way back in Buies Creek, but we couldn’t have wished for much more. It was our content, our ideas. We were in charge and it was working so well. Everything seemed near-perfect. I guess that’s why I couldn’t tell you then. I couldn’t tell you when we started making a decent living from the internet, when we actually had our names put down as business owners. I didn't want to mess things up. The time wasn’t right. I wasn’t ready for what my telling you might do to our near-perfect lives.

It’s been years now. I’ve known you for almost as long as I’ve been alive. We’ve had some rough days, some amazing days, and I wouldn’t change a single one. We made a television show, several internet series. We went on tour, wrote a book, we were on Conan and Fallon. We’ve famous guests on our podcast and GMM. Our job has let us do some crazy and amazing things. I guarantee I wouldn’t be here doing any of it without you. I wouldn’t be the man I am if it wasn’t for you, if I hadn’t been held in at recess with a lanky boy who wrote curse words on his desk. I can still see him sometimes, when I look at you. I see a tender innocence that I know you lost a long time ago. I also see the man that you’ve become, that I have watched you become over so many years and so many crazy adventures. I see the man that I couldn’t get rid of if I tried, that I couldn’t leave if I wanted. You’ve made me better. You’d made me brave. Braver than I ever felt possible and yet here I am. I’m here with you, as I have always been, as I know I will always be, and I think it’s time. I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but maybe you’ve always known anyway. Maybe you’ve seen it in my smile, or felt it in my touch. Just like I’ve seen it in your eyes, or heard it in your laugh. Maybe we’ve both always known and that’s why we never really had to say it, but now I think I should. 

Yes, Rhett, my dearest and closest friend. I think I’m ready. I’m finally ready to tell you exactly how I feel. 


End file.
